Navigating Aging, Loss, and Life Transitions
In this Q&A, Oakland-based therapist Brooke Pomerantz, LCSW, shares how psychotherapy can support older adults and those in midlife as they face transition, losses, and new possibilities.
Q: Why is psychotherapy valuable at any stage of life, especially as we age?
We navigate different life tasks across childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, and older age. Having a dedicated space to think about and process the changes, challenges, and sometimes losses that come with transitioning from one stage to the next can be profoundly helpful. In later life, there are specific challenges around aging, and therapy offers support to process the transitions, make sense of what is changing, and feel less alone in the process.
Q: What emotional challenges come up around aging, retirement, or later-life transitions?
Individuals may experience a range of feelings including sadness, grief, liberation, confidence, anger, growth, confusion, overwhelm, expansion and others as they navigate changes physically, emotionally, professionally and relationally related to aging. Sometimes people experience losses as their physical bodies age, shifts in their experiences in their work identity, losses or changes in relationships through illness, death or simply the relationship coming to an end. There can be shifts in identity and in how you walk through the world at this time of life. Some individuals experience age discrimination, increased isolation, financial concern, and/or health concerns.
Q: How do you support older adults or those entering midlife?
We begin by examining what is most active and alive and identify where there is pain or feelings of stuckness. Therapy can be a consistent place and space in which to examine how we cope with changes and where it can be useful to practice greater flexibility or try on a different mindset or internal narrative when navigating difficult experiences. We strengthen support networks and attend to connection, meaning, and purpose. Sometimes the work is very practical, like caregiving support or adjusting daily structure after retirement. Other times it is more reflective, helping people process losses and experimenting with different ways of being in this phase of life.
Q: What role does grief or identity play in this phase of life?
Grief is inevitably a significant part of aging. There are losses through death, losses of relationships in other ways, and losses of certain identities. Therapy helps us take up those losses, process the meaning they hold, and tolerate and work through the different feelings they evoke so that the losses can feel more bearable. Exploring aspects of identity is often central: if your physical self, your appearance, and/or your work life, have been core to your sense of self, we look at who you are as those change, and where you find meaning, connection, and purpose now.
Q: How can therapy help someone reconnect with purpose, creativity, or self-worth?
As work hours reduce or retirement begins, more space can open up to develop curiosity about yourself and about parts of life you want to develop or examine. We may explore different forms of creativity and play, connecting with the physical world, taking an art or dance class, writing, spending time with a loved one, be it a human or pet, traveling, or simply reconnecting with levity and lightness. We also consider opportunities to give back or contribute to people or organizations aligned with your values, such as serving on a board or mentoring. Therapy is a place to identify what feels compelling, try out new things, and work with the discomfort or fear that can come with change.
Q: How do our caregivers model how to navigate stress and anxiety in our lives?
Our caregivers showed us, often without meaning to, how to walk through the world and cope with stress. We tend to internalize what was modeled for us, and that can become a kind of blueprint for how to be in the world. Sometimes we end up repeating coping styles that don’t serve us. Part of the work we can do is to identify those patterns and explore how to shift them to something more adaptive.
Q: What possibilities open up when we make space for reflection later in life?
Reflection can be rich and lead to meaning, expansion, and growth. There is real opportunity for change when we invest in ourselves, develop curiosity about ourselves, and continue growing later in life. Many people discover that there are various ways to grow and develop through tapping into their wisdom, life experiences, values, relationships and larger sense of community. Therapy supports that process so you can meet this chapter with more support, steadiness, flexibility, and a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.
Brooke Pomerantz, LCSW, is a licensed therapist based in Oakland, with 18 years of experience supporting adults through anxiety, depression, and life transitions. She offers in-person therapy in Oakland and online therapy for clients in California, New York, and Indiana. Brooke is dedicated to providing inclusive, compassionate care that helps clients create meaningful change in their lives.
Are you suffering from anxiety? Learn more about Brooke’s Anxiety Therapy.
Brooke Pomerantz, LCSW
Psychotherapy, Supervision, and Consultation
Licensed in CA, NY, and IN
(415) 832-0767
brookepomerantz.com
